SPEAKER_00 0:00

So a few months ago, I started working with m Dr. Mark Matthews, who I actually have here with me right now. And I want to be really honest with everybody that's going to listen in on this podcast. Mark knows it more than anybody, but when we first met, before I started work working with you, because we've been working together for about three, three, four months now, something like that, somewhere in there. And no signs of stopping. And we meet every single week. And I remember the first time we met, I actually didn't, I almost didn't do it. I yeah, I remember talking to you, and I was like, I said, dude, my life is good. Our business is good. I've never felt better in a place of my life right now. Why do I need to work with like a high performance coach like you to help take me to this next level? And you're and you're like, you have to trust like that. There's a do you believe there's a new level to unlock? And I said, yes, but I don't know what it looks like. And you're like, that's what I'm gonna help you unlock. And here we are, many months later. And so many good things have happened in our sessions that I didn't expect. And I started showing up a lot differently in my relationship with Kelsey, in my family, and the people around me, in my team. And honestly, my eyes have just like opened to a world I didn't understand and I never saw because I was so in the in our business and in life that I didn't have this perspective that helped my eyes widen to really see things differently. And I'm really excited about this. And it's so hard to explain to anybody listening or watching right now because it's like, what is he talking about? Is this some like woo-woo stuff? It's not. It's literally just the way that I start to see the world has changed a lot since I've worked with you, Mark. And and people feel it around me. I've I've heard that. Like people are telling me that I'm like different in a positive way. And and and every time we get together, I get to ask you a lot of questions. And you have always exuded this to me like your ability to be present in the moment with people and your ability, your leadership capabilities. And there's something about you, Mark, that I'm like, man, I just want that. And let me tell you this. I eventually asked Mark, and and he explained a leadership skill that I think that nobody teaches. And of all our sessions, we've had a lot of sessions together every week for months now. And the one that I want to talk to you about today has been probably the most impactful of everything. And it is something that I think everybody here listening or watching is going to benefit from for the nature of it. It will help them become a better leader in their home, in their business, and really with anywhere they go that they're interacting with human beings, they will be better. But before we dive into that, man, thanks for coming back on.

SPEAKER_01 2:30

It's a pleasure. I'm stoked to be here with you. And I just echo the same thing. As a coach, you always get to go on a journey with someone. And when I got to see who you were and what you've built here, not just with your team, but with your family, your clients, this community, like we talked about in our first episode, we're in our hometown. And this town has some really serious anchors that are not helping the people here, but you are a bright spot here, and you're willing to create something that helps people not just change their business, not just change their financial future, their family's future, but it really does help them change the legacy they leave on the world. And so I love being here with you, and I'm stoked for another opportunity to serve all the people in our lives.

SPEAKER_00 3:13

Me too. Me too. And hey, anybody who is just listening for the first time and you're like, who is this Dr. Mark Matthews guy? I did an episode with Mark back in February, February 23rd. You can scroll back, go to episode number 231, where it uh the title is Are You Addicted to Achievement and the Cot the Hidden Cost of High Performance? Most people listening are high performance. They are achievers, they are entrepreneurs, they're founders, they're like ready to get at life and succeed. And that episode, very eye-opening, immense amounts of feedback, especially from clients that I get to hear the feedback loop from. So if you want to dive even deeper after this episode, I encourage you to go watch episode 231. We're gonna include that in the show notes as well. Uh but what I want to do, I want to talk about, I want to talk about something you call the presence protocol, which is a framework for deep presence within leadership and life. And and I want to start off, if that's okay. I actually I printed out paper. I've never had paper on a podcast, Mark. For the first time ever, Josh Coffee has paid physical paper on a podcast, because you sent me this, your your little booklet on this. And this is, I'm gonna open up, I'm gonna read something here, and then I want to get into this. This is what you call the leadership gap that no one talks about. You said most leaders are taught to perform, to strategize, to execute, to optimize, and those skills matter. But there's a deeper skill that separates leaders who get compliance from leaders who earn devotion, leaders who manage people from leaders who move people. And that skill is presence. It's not mindfulness or meditation or just being in the moment. Presence is defined as the capacity to fully enter another person's world, to see what they see, feel the weight of what they carry, and then invite them into a new possibility that they could have not reached alone. Presence is not passive, it is the most active, demanding, and transformative relational skill a leader can develop, and almost no one teaches it. And then you have a little quote here and it says, Focus tells you where to look, presence tells you how to see. All right. With all of that, I want to talk about presence versus focus before we kind of get into like the phases here that are really, really cool. What is the difference between presence and focus? Because when I say like, when I think of presence, I'm like, I'm just really focused in the moment on the thing. How'd you define those?

SPEAKER_01 5:30

Yeah, as you're reading that, to me, it's alive in me. Because this is if you want people who will go to war with you, right? If you want a team full of savages who are willing to go change the world, you gotta have this skill. And at the same time, if you want the people in your life to melt into your safety that you create, not into the certainty of what you know or believe, but into the certainty of how you treat them, that you are truly there for them. You want your wife, your children to see you as the safest place on the planet. This is the skill, and we keep missing it. And the thing is, is we think we're doing it because we're focused. So high achievers, high performers that I know, people I coach, they go home with their families, they're there, they're focused. Sometimes they're not, they're distracted, but a lot of them, they are focused. And they're creating opportunities to be with them, they're scheduling the time, they're scheduling the date nights, but they're mistaking thinking that just being focused and here, right, with my eyes looking at you, is the same thing as being as being fully immersed in your world. When I'm fully immersed in your world, all of a sudden we're we achieve what psychologists call a shared reality. Some people like to call it resonance. And when we have that resonance, it feels like I am truly with you in the world that you're in. And now there is no way you could ever feel alone. And given that loneliness is the greatest pandemic that humanity faces right now, true loneliness, that feeling, this is the antidote to that. And it's also the antidote for anybody who feels lonely because when you enter someone else's world truly and authentically, you also get to experience that level of connection. And once you do that, it becomes the most addicting thing you'll do. You have to remind yourself to focus on the tasks, the work that you're doing, and you should. That's one side of performance. But this is the side that you cannot throw out. You can't make it something that you do for a season where you ignore everybody and you go head down. You got to be heart-centered and eyes open to the people in front of you. Otherwise, you're never going to build anything that really lasts beyond you. And the people around you, even if you build something beautiful, they'll never be it, they'll never be inspired by it. And so this is the most important thing that I center my entire life around. And I would bet anybody who does the same will be so grateful for their life.

SPEAKER_02 7:49

Hmm.

SPEAKER_00 7:50

It's it is interesting because when you think of presence, you think of being present, and there's like this physical, but then there's also this like emotional, spiritual investment in the person you're with in presence. At least that's what how I kind of see that. And it is interesting because like I would say that I've done a lot of the motions of what presence should look like. Like you said, the date nights, the things, you schedule the things, but in the moment, you're actually not offering true presence. In fact, so many of us have these devices right in front of us. Our phones are with us all the time. And I'll tell you, when I go on date nights, this phone is not with me now. Part of the presence protocol we're going to talk about in a little while, but like the amount of distraction that we have is so great. And it's like we we're we're physically present, but we're not emotionally present. And I think that was just such an opening, eye-opening thing for me that I had to change with some of this along with some of the other steps. But yeah, this is I think this is really going to change anyone's life who takes this seriously and doesn't shrug this off as like, oh, this is just some kind of a thing that people do, but I'm not gonna, I'm just gonna keep doing my thing. I'm successful in life, and I think this is gonna take you to a new level that you didn't realize was possible. Um, can you talk about, can we dive into so you have like two phases. You talk about two phases. I want to talk about phase one. We get brief on phase two, but I don't want to, we'll be here forever. We talk through both phases. Is that cool?

SPEAKER_01 9:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:18

Okay. Let's do both. Can you talk through what are what are the two phases of what you call the presence protocol? And then I want to go into the four steps in phase one. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 9:28

If you're thinking about a relationship with another human being and you're trying to create a relationship where they feel your presence, this is deep presence. This isn't shallow being physical present, like you said. This is like holy crap, you're you're in my world so deeply, it almost feels like you're in my head, which is a gift. And so the first step of the presence protocol is what people always overlook. They think it's something that they just are gonna do. It's something you gotta practice, just like anything else. It's it's a beautiful skill of life. And phase one is entering their world. So as you're talking to me, every time we get on a session, I set this intention. And I literally tell myself in a relationship, the intention is your experience is more important than my agenda. And the reason that I say that is everybody should, if you're a high performer, be coming into interactions with an agenda, with goals, with ideas, even a vision for the person in front of you. Even if it's small, even if you're just gonna have fun and play some pinball, you have a vision of having fun. That's what leadership is. You know the way, you go the way, you show the way, and you go the way. And so you're gonna do that. But when you enter their world, you think, regardless of that agenda, I'm willing to throw it all out for you. Because your experience matters more than the agenda that I have here today. It's a paradox because people are like, well, then how do we get the thing done? Or how do we get the thing accomplished? If you give somebody full presence, they'll go with you easily. They'll follow you. Or maybe you'll even want to follow them because they'll just start going along the path and it's easy. But if you don't give them the presence, then they'll have resistance and you got to use incentives and control to keep them going. And so phase one is I you got to enter their world and know that you're really with them. And when they feel like you're in their world, then you can go to phase two, which is you can invite them into yours. And when you invite them into your world, having been with them and actually walked with them and they feel so deeply understood, they feel like you understand them more than anybody else on the planet in that moment. Then when you invite them into your world, they'll be curious about it. This is that classic for people who've read the science on persuasion, reciprocity. I enter your world and show you that it's wonderful to have me there, then you're curious. Well, if they were so great over here, I want to see what it's like in their world. And then they'll actually do the same thing back to you. And it's actually in giving another person presence that you'll feel so alive in yourself. You'll escape all of your suffering, then you'll be fully with them. And so enter their world, then invite them into yours.

SPEAKER_00 11:55

I think this is uh I'm gonna give some just very practical situations so you might find yourself that that this is a protocol you have to practice you have to practice and you have to you have to do. So I kind of look at most of my life as business in person. Like I have my business, what we're doing over here. And so I always look at that lens, then I always look at like my relationship with Kelsey, my wife, and then also my son William. And so, and then also other b yeah, other, I guess, other businesses and relationships in church and things like that. And so things I think of like there are things that we have talked about where maybe someone listening is like, hey, I've had all these, you work with team members and there are things that they're doing that you don't understand. I was actually on a dude, I got to pull pull us into a coaching call that I was on yesterday. One of our clients said, I have, she's like, I have one employee, and she is a rock star. She's been with me ride or die. And she's like, But I just, how do you deal with like these conversations that you have you have to have over and over with them? And she takes care of customer support. And on Tuesday, it was Saturday until she responded to the next customer support situation. And I was like, Why did it take you so long? Like, I'm noticing you're just not doing the thing that you were called to, you're supposed to do. And and so she's like, you know, she's frustrated, but she also loves this person and appreciates this person for all she's done. And and there's an and and I was able to tell her, I said, Hey, what what are the reasons you think she may have not been able to do it? And she's, I said, like, so I'm I'm trying to get her to enter the world. And I said, What, what could have made her not do it? Because it sounds like she normally, this isn't a problem, she's a rock star, right? And she said, Yeah. And I said, Okay, so rock stars generally don't drop the ball. So if they do, there's probably some reason. Why would that be do you think? She's like, Well, I guess we were traveling and we were at an event from Tuesday to Saturday. And I was able to say, Yeah, makes makes a lot of sense to me. Why she probably wasn't able to. She probably is she juggling a lot? She said, Yeah. I said, Are you growing and you guys feeling burned out a little bit? And she said, Yeah. And I was like, Okay. If you were in her shoes, do you see how she maybe could have not done that? And so I got to like pull this kind of into like encourage this client, enter the world of this, your team member here. Is there a real what could happen to have that not be the like be the thing that actually gets done? And and so I think that when you think of entering world, I'm gonna encourage everyone, think through your business. What are the situations you arrive in that like you're you judge the situation and or their motive before being able to full and because of that you become frustrated by it, or maybe, and this is just truth, I've had a Kelsey and I are always on different goal lengths, it feels like sometimes in life. And we've talked about this, and I know Kelsey's gonna listen to this. So, Kelsey, I love you because she listened to your last episode and she loved my vulnerability in that. I just want to say this is like we've always been on different goal paths with different goals we individually have, which is totally fine. And there's always like you always want to be on the same goal path, but it's always like it can vary a little bit. And what I realized is I was trying to force her into my world without entering her world and seeing what's going on in her life. She's like, she's a brand new mom. She has so much going on. And I'm trying to like push this performance, I'm trying to push this level of like achievement of who I am and like my go, go, go, go. Before entering her world, and I remember we're talking about it, and you're like, what if you just accepted her for exactly where she's at right this moment? And you said, I support you in all of what you want to do, not what I want you to do or what I think we should do. And I took that and I'm like, you're right. Why am I trying to force this on somebody else? You know, like I want to enter her world. And so that's what I've been, I've been able to practice a lot of that. And I hope Kelsey listening can can feel that a little bit. And so, yeah, I think this is this is really, really big.

SPEAKER_01 15:32

I want to speak to what you just said because I'm in the exact same boat with everyone in my family. I think I might have mentioned it to you at some point, maybe in the first episode, that I have a vision for every person in my family. There is a poster in my house, and in on that poster is every person in the family, exactly the state of the relationship and how well we harmonize. What you just described is you're aiming for harmony in every relationship. You might have different individual flavors of the goal, but when you harmonize, those goals come together and they create something beautiful together. That's the job of every relationship, it's the job of every team, it's the job of every organization, it's the heart of every movement. How well do we harmonize? And the interesting thing is it's harder to harmonize when you have different styles of voices, but you can still do it. And so that's the beauty. Life, this protocol speaks to how do we unite as people. And you can take that all the way down straight to Kelsey. And what you did there was so beautiful because you said, wherever you're at, I want to sing with you. If you don't do that, then what happens is that say Kelsey gets in, you know, gets on board, gets in the car, and goes where you were trying to go. She'll do that for a little bit, but she'll feel like you don't really want her there. You want a different version of her there. You want her at a different stage, you want her in some different way. And as soon as people know, if you do this protocol right, remember their experience is more important than the agenda. And so if their experience is more important than the agenda, it's like whatever goals you bring to the table, I just want you in the car with me and I want to go there together. I want you singing this song with me, regardless of how it sounds. And when they see that, then you start to play together and you start to create together and you create this openness in the energy where you can actually take them into coaching. You can even people will invite you to help them grow. But if you don't do this first stage, it'll never work. And if you're in any significant relationship and you're not doing this, the cost of it really is you will not get to be the person who meets their needs fully. And they will either not get their needs met or they will find someone else who does. And that that will hurt because I see that all the time.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

Well, let's go ahead, let's dive in, man. Let's dive in and then we can talk about like use cases for this. Let's talk about the four capacities of the present. You want to walk through those? Yeah, let's just make it really simple here.

SPEAKER_01 17:53

Look, for anything you ever do in your life, a lot of people, you if you if I ask them, I say, what's the number one thing you have to do if you have a goal? What's the first thing you have to do when you get ready, you sit down, you're gonna try to accomplish the goal. They always say, You gotta focus. And that's great. That's not true. The way the brain works is that the brain centers itself on a goal. We really are goal-oriented people. So we have a goal that we want to accomplish, and once the brain has it, it'll go towards that goal until it gets either too frustrated and quits, or it accomplishes the goal and it feels good. That's it. You have to set an intention. So step one is you have to set the intention for what your actual goal is. You have to actually tell your brain this is what we're doing. Almost nobody does this. And as soon as they start doing in their life, they're like, oh my gosh, I'm having a completely different life. Oh my gosh. This, if you want to get real, woo-woo for people who are into that, this is what manifestation is supposed to be, right? This is what I'm telling my brain we're doing now, this is what we're gonna make happen now. You have to declare it. And so when you're going for presence, that's why my intention for relationships is always their experience more important than my agenda. I want them to have a great experience. So I've decided I'm gonna enter your world, Josh, and then I'm also gonna make sure that whatever your experience is, that's what matters most. So if we're two steps into this, you know, four steps, and your experience is not going the way it needs to go, I stop. I reset with you. And once that intention's set, it this is where you can give yourself feedback. In every coaching situation, if someone tells me about the relationship, I can say, what was your intention? What intention did you set? And if they don't, if they're like, I didn't, right? It's not a surprise. Almost always when they say they actually set an intention and they remember the moment where they did, those are the moments where they're like, oh yeah, it was no problem. I nailed it. But let's say you do set the intention and then you're still struggling for presence, right? Where do we go? And this is where focus, focus is not the entire skill, but it's a key part. You have to remove all the distractions in front of you. And you do a great job of this. Getting rid of that phone. Listen, I'm gonna submit to say getting rid of that phone is a a spiritual action because you're taking something that is quite literally a master distraction, you're saying, you're more important to me than the phone. You're more important. In fact, I'm willing to be bored with you. You're so important, even if it's boring as hell, I'm willing to be here with you because I want to be with you. I want to be bored with you. Right? You probably shouldn't say that to Kelsey. But I want to be bored, you're boring, but I still want to be with you. But it's like, even when I'm feeling like I came out of this w war of helping people today, and I went out and I helped so many people through so many things, I want to be with you. And I trust over time I'm gonna get rid of everything to make sure that's the priority. And what's beautiful is when you do that, just set an intention, just focus. You're gonna be in great shape. But this is the third steps are gonna be really important. But I want to ask if you have anything you want to add before I dive into this third piece.

SPEAKER_00 21:14

Yes. So I've definitely gotten a lot better at this, and I think that we might need to give some examples of how do you choose to set intention a little bit better? How would you say this? So someone is like, I'm about to engage with someone in a conversation, a meeting, a gathering, whatever, and I have this particular agenda for it. This happens for us. Like we literally have coaching agendas. And since doing this, dude, our coaching suggestion agendas and our sessions, by the way, can go out can go out the window. And I am now, I intentionally buffer for the agenda to go out the window. Yesterday I was on an hour coaching call, it became almost two hours. And I buffered the whole hour because I'm like, the experience of our clients to me is more important than the agenda of ending this open office hour session. It's 60 minutes because if people are in this, if people need my presence to help them unlock something and I can be part of that transformation, that is more important than anything to me. And so part of the intentionality could be like starting to buffer from a physical time standpoint. But like if someone's going into a situation, they have an agenda for a physical agenda or a metaphorical agenda of like this is a thing that I want to have happen in this time I'm spending with you. This is exactly how the expectation that I have in my brain, maybe this is another thought. A lot of times we have expectations of how people are supposed to do things or how people are supposed to respond to things or how this situation is supposed to play out. How do you set it? Would you consider that an agenda?

SPEAKER_01 22:45

Yeah, I think so. There's a difference between agenda and expectation. Okay. Agenda, in my, in my view, is this is the outcomes we would like to make happen. So for me, the way I set agenda, I say this is the result I would love to see happen here. And then when I coach, right, I co-set the agenda. You do this with me. So I ask, is there anything else that we need to visit on this journey today or anything that's pressing you want to bring up? Sometimes it's no, I trust where you're going to take me. My job is to know where my clients, my people, my love, where they're trying to go. My job is to have entered their world so often, I know what they care about. I know where they want to go. I know where they're stuck. But they might have something that day that is really pressing. And so the agenda is like, this is where we could go, right? Expectation means this must happen.

SPEAKER_00 23:33

Now, some would you use this same process in that? Because I think that a lot of times, I'm trying to give, oh, a good example. I was just in Utah. I was in Zion National Park. We, my wife and I, we brought uh her or her cousin and her her husband were with us. And we're outside of Zion, and there's like this expectationslash preset agenda I have in my mind of like, we're gonna leave around this time, we're gonna get into Zion, there's gonna be parking and all of this. And then we left an hour late. You go into Zion, there's absolutely no parking in Zion National Park because it's very limited, they don't have a lot of parking, and they were doing construction on half the parking. So, like you were driving around, no parking, literally no parking. And so, in my is that would you consider that an expectation or agenda? Like, how would you classify that? I love it because I had a mental agenda, I guess, or expectation.

SPEAKER_01 24:24

And I it's a plan. And this is important an agenda is a plan, and you need a plan. That's why never enter a conversation without a plan. I one of the greatest things I ever learned about anxiety is the cure to anxiety is a plan. If you are anxious in your life, but you can come up with a meaningful plan towards a solution in your life, it'll take the anxiety away nine times out of ten. What's an what's an example? Like, what's a situation? Yeah, it happens all the time. So an easy situation is you know, last night, Bridget and I are traveling several different places and we had to grab a hotel. But it turns out Ashland, Ohio, all the hotels are like all the decent ones, which there's like one, right? All one hotel.

SPEAKER_00 25:06

Or are you saying they're all taken?

SPEAKER_01 25:07

They're taken. Oh wow. They're all taken. And I'm like, that never happens. So we have to figure out what to do. Now, when we're stuck there, we had a plan. We'll grab a hotel in Ashland and there's no anxiety about it. Then it comes time to execute the plan. You're in Zion. And I had the exact same experience when I went to Zion, and it was wild because it took us four hours to get to the park when we thought it would take us 30 minutes. It was crazy. And so you have the plan, but then something gets in the way. The expectation is how am I going? What that tells you is if you have an expectation about something, if the conditions that you decided your expectations aren't met, now you've basically told yourself, I'm gonna be annoyed, frustrated, however I'm gonna feel. So I believe I learned this from the great Tony Robbins. Trade your expectations for appreciation and your whole life will change. Set the plan. This is what I'd like to do. Great job. The hour leaving, you can even give feedback against the plan. There might have been actual things you could change so you can hit your plans more often. Be great at setting plans and be great at following through with them. But when it comes to actually being in the moment with the other people, they should know the plan ahead of time. But then when it comes to actually going into the plan with them, if you see someone's resisting, moving towards the plan or something else is going on, if you release your expectations about hitting the plan on time, which this is a skill, you have to practice it because it's hard. And you can actually say, you know what? If we're an hour late, we're an hour late. If we don't even do Zion today, that's okay. Because what matters most is your experience here today. I got you. And you become that person, that by the way, that's delayed gratification at its finest. That's abundance at its finest. We might produce a podcast today, we might send it out and help a ton of people. We might just have a conversation. But I got you today. So whatever you need, I'm here for it. And I want to be here. That's dropping all expectations about the plan being fulfilled and deciding that you're more important than the plan. And when you do that, the plan will be fulfilled more often for a long time, but then that person will actually start executing on the plans even when you're gone. This is how, if you're a leader, if you're gonna take a week off or two weeks off, or you're gonna exit the office, if you do such a good job of this, the presence that you put in them, it's this thing that will drive those people. They'll think of you when you're gone and they'll actually say, What would Josh do? What would Josh say here? Because not because of what you told them, not because of your wisdom, not because your strategy, but because of shocker, how you made them feel. Expectations tell you how things have to be. I say drop them. Plans tell you what you the best way to show up to things when they come, keep them. And then the most important thing is whatever happens, care about the people more than the plan. It'll be great.

SPEAKER_00 28:03

It's so so true. And you know what's interesting is I I used to be meeting city. Like I would be meeting and meeting for 30 hours a week. That was like my whole life. I just met, met, met, had all kinds of meetings in our business. And I got so burned out just doing meetings. And so I slashed meetings aggressively in my workflow, so I had more time to create and think and stuff like that. And and so because of that, very strategic. I'm like meetings, back to back. I booked the back of the day to the front of the day. I like it's like everything is like this, which infringes a lot of time on people's experience when you're back to back like that, or when you have so many meetings, and I always want to like, I'm really about productivity. What's interesting is the last couple of weeks I've really been practicing this, and that is uh I hate off the cuff meetings, or I normally do. And I'm like, oh man, if someone has to walk in and we have to have a conversation and I'm in a working mode, I don't want to get out of this. And what's interesting is like I've started being like, okay, someone needs help. I'm just gonna help them and I'm gonna remove my remove my agenda temporarily just to see what happens. I did this yesterday. We're at the end of the day. The day's done. It's like 5 p.m., 5.15. And Robert had been waiting to show me this thing he built for our coaching programs. And and and this he was spent so much time, he's like lit up on fire, excited to share this. And I'm like, I even have after this, I have to go drive 25 minutes to our church for this men's Bible study thing. I'm not gonna get home until 8:30. That's my mind, right? I'm like, nah, I'm just gonna literally door dash food here so I can eat dinner here and just sit at the table with Rob and this big old whiteboard for like 45 minutes until the absolute last second that I have to leave. And the free that and I did that, and when I was done with it, I was like, I was energized. I felt so good doing it. It's kind of interesting when you release this idea of an agenda and you lean into the experience, the level of, I don't know the word for it, but like joy, satisfaction, energy that it gives you is actually really high. And I did this a lot in the last couple of weeks, not just Robert, but like even with a lot of clients that I'm like, it's inconvenient for me sometimes to just abandon my agenda for the thing, but I'm like, I'm gonna do this for this client that is at a really, really bad financial spot, and they just they're like burning over here and they need help. And so I sit down and help them, and I'm like, I didn't feel any energy gone from that. I felt actually more energized when I was done with the thing. And it's crazy, it feels like initial sacrifice, but it actually isn't, and it empowers them and it empowers you almost. It's a very interesting experience.

SPEAKER_01 30:47

If you what you're describing, so when I do a enrollment call, right? A first call with somebody, I make it a priority as often as I can to make sure I have unlimited time for that call. And that's that's a long time. The longest one I've had is four and a half hours on a Zoom. But the reason I do that is because if you show people you're willing to do that, if you do that once, especially at the beginning of a relationship, that presence will actually carry through all the other interactions. Every time they come back to you, it's like you're starting at a better place. And what's amazing is then you'll go faster. What you just described, imagine you got so good at this that you could step into what feels like an hour, right? Maybe call you have there, and you get such good presence with them that you're 10 minutes in, you've been fully in their world, you're going somewhere together in creation together, and then all of a sudden you get to the end of the hour and they're like, that was five minutes. I know it's the whole time. What did you love about that time? And then this is something we've been working on, right? Is that you want to end everything with progress. It doesn't have to be completion, but progress. And then these moments of presence. Remember, if you're listening to this, you don't have to solve everything or all the problems in front of the in front of you with the person. If you have a time constraint, that's okay. It's just be fully present with them and say, oh, we'll catch it on the next one. Let's get the next set time set up. Relationships require continuity. And in between that time, they're gonna go solve those problems that they're working on because of the presence you gave them. This is how you multiply yourself. And I want to speak to what you just said. Great, because now you're saying by default, I'm gonna be a deeply present leader. So now that means your constraints that you build, they're gonna have to require, they can't take away your presence. In the past, you were chopping things up to be so productive, but you let presence be something that could be taken away. Now you have to build systems that allow you to have the deep presence, but also allow you to have, you know, the time that you need to build a real company and scale it, right? That's when things get really interesting, and you'll even find you can create more people in your organization who give the same presence to the other people, and you you could get yourself probably down to five meetings if you do this and have way more of an effect than 30.

SPEAKER_00 33:09

I think that's the other thing, too, is like I've always prioritized productivity over presence. And what has really started to shift, and it's taken time, but like especially though, I just think of the last few weeks, and that is as I've focused on this, people feel the presence so fast. And you could see you could see it in their mannerisms and see it in their behavior and in their facial expressions and their body language. You you feel it, right? You see it and you feel it. But in doing that, though, because you're entering their world, now you get to invite them into yours. And then what ends up happening is they feel so much more empowered that the level of multiplication you have, I'm I'm talking to people that have a team right now. You actually it feels slower because you're you're less time on productivity mode, more time in presence mode. But that presence mode actually multiplies way faster because now when you invest that in your team, your team is a multiplier effect versus, oh, I could have gotten one more hour done, but I got these two additional 30 minutes with different team members. It felt me so present that they're now able to multiply with confidence and feeling empowered to do so. And so I think that's another interesting thing I've been experiencing is it feels slower at first, but in reality it's not. It's actually speeding you up when it comes to team. It's huge.

SPEAKER_01 34:33

And I'll speak to this because people are probably thinking, well, what about people where it's like they want to talk to me all day, but then they don't go execute? And I want to speak to this because I think this is a real challenge. They also have to be sold on where you're going. In your business, if you're running a business, if you have a family, there has to be a place you're gonna go together. So when you enter that presence with them, and you can co-create that presence with or you can co-create that vision with them. But if they don't have somewhere where they're gonna go, the presence will feel good, but they won't know where to go with it. And so for leaders out there, I want to, you're probably thinking, oh my gosh, this presence sounds amazing. We have amazing relationships, and what's the difference between that just being, you know, kumbaya, and we all hang out and we care about each other, and we actually go build multi-million dollar companies, we actually go innovate the future. And the difference is that everybody has agreed that they are sold on the vision, and then when you enter that presence with them, they will always return back to the vision. But if you're gonna sell them on this vision, they're never gonna be bought in until you create this presence with them. That's what sells it. That when people say they're buying you, right? Especially since we have personal brands, when they say they're buying you, what they're buying is the level of presence that you've given them and the experience that they've they've had to you. And so this is like the most productive thing that you can do. And I just want to be really clear, it's not only this. This is step one. Step two is you deploy that presence towards something that everybody's inspired to go towards, and you gotta have that as well. And so, leaders out there, if you're thinking it's just presence and that'll solve the problem. No. But if you don't have this, you'll create bigger problems and it'll make it harder to achieve any of your goals.

SPEAKER_00 36:18

Okay, thank you. So we set intention. You're when we're going into a conversation, we're going in with someone, and number phase one is we need to enter their world, and the capacities we need to have is number one intention with it, where the person matters more than my plan, agenda or experience over agenda. And then we become really focused, we narrow our attention and say, hey, I'm literally going to remove distractions. Another little another note here, I don't know if you'd consider this focus as well, but I I give them my literal focus. I've been really bad at this. My team be like, Oh, hey, by the way, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And they're having this little conversation, and I'm like half body turned away from them, or I'm not looking straight at them as they're talking to me. I'm just kind of listening. And I've shifted to where when someone's talking to me, I just look at them and give them my full attention. I'm just like, it's not only just removing the distraction of the phone. I'm like, any distraction, I'm just literally looking at you for like we're doing right now for a minute or two as you're telling me the thing. But that's step number two. So number one, intention, number two, focus. And number three, this is the one that was a really big hang up and the toughest, I think, of all of this. Walk through three and four, the last two little pieces.

SPEAKER_01 37:32

So I love this because you know, four is kind of like a bonus step. Three is the work. Three is where I think as a coach, I spend most of my time helping people stop judging themselves. Step three is acceptance. And that means focus, you're getting rid of all the external things that could get in your way. Acceptance, step three, is getting rid of all of your beliefs about that person from your world. If you do this poorly, right, what most people do in interactions is they kind of have a conversation, and as long as you agree, you're kind of good. But then you see somebody say something or you hear it, and you're like, what are they thinking? What are they doing? Why? And the this is what they always say. I don't understand why they're doing this. I don't understand why they're thinking like this. They're making it worse, right? They'll have all these things, they're judging that person. And what they say is, I hate when they say they don't understand because that's actually your job as the leader is to go figure out why. So if you say, I don't understand, please, like let's figure out how to understand it, that's different. But I hear this as a complaint a lot of the time. And what's happening is you have a judgment about their world. What you say you want to lose weight, but then you cheat on the diet. You say you want you're gonna build this, but then you don't, right? You say this stuff, these judgments they suffocate the growth. And it's not a surprise. All of the great religions out there, they speak to this about this non-judgmental attitude that you take towards people. But it's a practice of non-judgment. And when you're really good at productivity or you're really good at accomplishing goals, or you like for us, we've built some things, like it's incredible. We know what kind of beliefs will destroy us and make us unsuccessful, we know what kind of actions. Like, oh my gosh, making excuses or blaming other things, we could judge that all day because we know that's really unhelpful way to think. But as soon as we cast that judgment on them, now we've exited their world or we've been in their world and we said, you're doing this wrong. You could do it better. That's my favorite one. You could do this better, you could do it this way, you could do that. And as soon as you start doing it, that person feels like you're judging them for how they're showing up rather than actually learning to understand why they're showing up the way they are or what it's like for them where they are. And as soon as you do this, you that will boot you from their world, they will kick you out, or you've already withdrawn and you didn't complete the actual protocol. And so you might set the intention, set the focus, but as soon as you cast judgment, you screw it up. And I have a great example of how I did this with someone who matters most to me just a couple weeks ago. I run this protocol in I'd say 95% of interactions in my life. But I was sitting down with a PhD advisor of mine, who is the kindest person I've ever met in my life. He is an absolute role model. He runs this protocol basically everywhere he goes. He cares about people in an organization where there's so much pressure that it's really hard to do that. And I sat down at breakfast with him, with him and Bridget, and after about five minutes of some presence, all of a sudden I'm 30 minutes into talking about the challenges of his organization, talking about the things that he could do as a leader, and challenging him, calling him to step up in a different way as a leader. And I actually asked him, because I love this person. They're like a they are a father figure to me. And I said to him, I said, How does it feel when I bring this stuff up? Because he's not showing me that it's painful. And he looks at me and he says, he says it like almost matter-of-fact. He says, It feels like you want me to be someone I'm not. And that's when I realized what I was really doing, I wasn't challenging him in a positive way. I wasn't kindly growing with him. I was judging him. At least that's what it felt like. And so for all this time where I see him as someone who I'm so inspired by, and I call your call your leaders to more. Anybody who I get the privilege of leading, I want them to call me to more. I want them to challenge me to more. They have an explicit instruction, challenge me to help you more, to serve you more, to help our mission in the world. We have a real mission to challenge me. But they also give me such presence that the challenge feels like love, and it wasn't love that I was giving him because I I skipped step three and I didn't run this protocol proper properly. And it was a terrible conversation in my book. Ended fine. It ended with hugs and love seeing you, and I can't wait to see you again. But I knew that I missed the great opportunity to really enter his world and connect. And I find high achievers, we do this constantly, reflexively, because usually we were judging ourselves the same way.

SPEAKER_00 42:20

So how do you what are some common situations you might find like an entrepreneur would find themselves in that they have to accept somebody and suspend judgment, which is I know a big part of this. To accept someone, you have to suspend your judgment of maybe them or their motives or their decisions that they've made. What are some specific situations you can think of that an entrepreneur might tangibly encounter the idea that they I have to accept someone and suspend judgment on this thing?

SPEAKER_01 42:53

Yeah, I think the first one is with your clients. I think that's the number one place I hear judgment with entrepreneurs. And I know immediately, especially with newer entrepreneurs, is soon as I hear them complaining about their clients and they tell me the judgments, this client's not taking accountability. This client's not running, they're not implementing.

SPEAKER_00 43:15

This customer can't read the FAQs on the shipping time frames, and this this customer is an idiot, they ordered the wrong thing.

SPEAKER_01 43:22

Oh, yeah. It's constant. And as a leader, just remember that judgment that you're putting on them is making them weaker, not stronger. So if you ever, if you make one of your values, maybe you don't. Maybe that's what you want. Some people want to build a company where they say, you know what, I want good customers who follow my rules and do what I say, and then I provide them a great product or service, and that's it. Cool, go run that company. But if you're going to tell yourself you're making the world a better place, you want to empower your clients, or you want to actually have excellent customer service, then you got to give them your your the product you so you sell is not your ultimate service. It's the experience they have with your. Company that's your ultimate service. And this is actually a philosophical problem. If we live in a capitalist society where it's transactional, people will burn down capitalism. I know it's kind of deep to go here, but that's just the lessons of the history. If we live in a transactional society where you have customers who follow your rules and read your FAQs and do everything as they say, and that's all of your customers, and then the ones who don't, you're just like, yeah, they're dumb, they're stupid, they're idiots, they're bad clients, they're this stuff. You put all your judgments on them, they'll burn that down. That's France. Like, that's my read of history. But if you recognize, oh, that customer got stuck there, that was the stuck point. That customer ran into this wall here. And I wonder what we could do to the system to help them. You might not be able to implement it for every customer, but you think through the experience for them. And oh my gosh, in my world, in the coaching world, if the coaches who have genuine empathy when their clients show up and they don't implement, or even they're mean or rude, because that happens, or they say things that they've been doing in their life, and you're like, What is wrong with you? Like, what are you doing? Is what goes through your head. Yeah, I got rid of that voice. I train that voice out. The second I hear something and I'm like, whatever they're doing, it would have produced a judgment. I immediately think to myself, that's the spot they're at. I'm gonna love them, honor them, and they're gonna be in a better spot, having had an experience with me. I treat them as a brother or sister, not as a price point. And I think if you find you do that, your work will have such meaning. Because that means even the worst, you know, or or most challenging customers that come, they actually become a blessing for you. And you and that doesn't mean you have to work with them. It might be the way that you choose not to, but I think this piece, the non-judgment piece, you will be so proud of yourself when you go home and you can actually say, I didn't cast a single judgment today. Literally, and you literally feel inside your heart, you're like, I didn't think anybody was dumb, I didn't think anybody was ungrateful, I didn't think anybody was entitled, I just looked around and I cared about the people in front of me, met them where they're at, served them, and moved forward my mission today. And now I'm spending time with my beautiful wife, not judging her wherever she's at. And that's my daily experience this last year, but before that it was constant judgment with a positive spin.

SPEAKER_00 46:30

It's it's crazy how much judgment we actually do, and we've been so trained in it, and it's been embedded in us that we can't we almost can't fathom the idea of suspending judgment because we're driving and someone goes too slow, someone's going too fast, someone cuts you off, someone goes around you, you have a judgment about that. You're at the restaurant and the server doesn't do exactly whatever that might be, so you're judging their behavior. You're jud I mean it's crazy how much it happens. You have a team member that doesn't do the thing in the way that you that like you want them to do it or something, or like so you're judging, or you're judging the motive of the person why they did the thing, but you don't actually know, you don't seek the understanding. And and since really working through this, I've become aware that holy cow, I'm the most judgmental person on the planet. Like, I just look around at everything. I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm judging this. I'm judging like you judge so much. But I know one thing that you've really you're you're still helping me through is like that suspension of judgment allows you to accept someone for who they are. You may make different decisions than them. You may have made a different decision, but there is a world in which you possibly could have made the same decision. And I think that's one of the most eye-opening things for me. And this came in the form of uh you were here months ago, and and uh actually it's when we did the podcast last. We're here and we go to a restaurant nearby called Uniontown Brewery. It's my favorite restaurant. And there's another restaurant downtown called South Street Grill. I don't go to South Street Grill, I haven't in four to five years. And a team made a sarcastic joke about it. And they're like, Oh, we should all go to South Street Grill today, ha ha ha ha ha, because they know I don't go there. And then you and Bridget were like, Well, why don't you go to South Street Grill? And I said, Well, I have two big disagreements with how the business owner runs business. He charges a 4% credit card processing fee. I'm like, that's the cost of doing business, raise your prices, and the way that he he'll go online and spew stuff about customers who don't treat his servers right, but he does it in a very in my perspective, a way that I think you should not behave as a business owner on your social media. And I rem and I remember a few weeks later, a month later, on a call, and you just when we were going through this, you just we get to acceptance and you're just like, I just got a question for you. I'm like, what? And you're like, what's your deal with this South Street grill guy? I'm like, dude, that was like a month ago. How do you even remember this? And you're like, well, your judgment now makes me prejudge him, but I don't even know the guy. I don't even know that I don't know anything about it. And now I don't want to go there because of what you said. But why did you say that stuff? And then I explained those to you. And you said, is there a world where you could accept that you might actually do the same thing? And I was like, first, no way. No way would you see Josh Coffey charging a 4% credit card processing fee or spewing on social media about people who treated his servers wrong or whatever, and then rage baiting people to support you. And so I said, no way. And you're like, have you ever struggled to run payroll or not been able to make bills for the business that month to where 4% would make a big difference? And I was like, freaking, you got me. Yes, there's a world that that could be my reality. It's hard for me to say that I wouldn't 100% definitively no, but there's a world that I would stand up for our team. I would absolutely stand up for our team. There's a world that I could have so much going on in my life that it would cause me to be very dramatic in the way that I do that. There is a world that that could happen. And so that night I ordered it, I ordered South Street Grill, and then we catered it that Friday for our team. I don't know if I told you that or not. And I and I've been back to South Street probably four or five times in the last couple months.

SPEAKER_01 50:10

This is incredible. So you have no idea, but I actually have it in my plan uh to invite you to dinner in the coming future. And the reservation is gonna be at South Street Grill.

SPEAKER_00 50:21

Like that is, you can invite me. And on top of that, we're gonna we're gonna host an event in July in their upper room called the Luna, which is this cool like jazz vibe. Uh, we're renting the place. But I I share that because, first of all, I'm I'm I didn't realize I didn't tell you that. But something I think that you said is like when you accept something, no, you could never have an influence on someone if they don't feel accepted by you. So there's no way, there's 0% chance I could ever influence his name is Sean, the owner. I can never influence him. Ever. And it's a small downtown, everybody knows it, he knows me, everyone knows each other. There's there's no world that I could influence him if I don't accept him for the choices that he makes, even though I at this moment in time might make different choices. And that was really eye-opening to me because when you accept people, you accept your team, you accept your customers. Your customers, I'm gonna talk to everybody here right now that is 100% experiencing this if you run an e-commerce business. You have people that will buy your products, they will, they will, you could have pop-ups in their face saying this will not arrive by Christmas because it's December 24th. And they will place that order and they will come guns blazing on December 26th when their product did not arrive by Christmas morning. It's gonna happen. And you can have all of the things ever. And in your first responses, I'm like, I'm angry, I'm livid. You're you're now affecting my mood, my attitude toward everything. And then you gotta say, like, hey, is there a world where you ever didn't read the terms and conditions? Or is there a world that you could have been like so busy, you have a baby over here and you're just placing the order on your phone? And and it's like when you accept people for who they are, now you can you can there's some kind of conversation that you can engage with that actually builds them up and builds you up and creates a sense of safety in your customers being like, oh my gosh, I made the I overlooked it, but they still took care of me and refunded the thing or whatever that is. Anyway, I think acceptance is the hardest, but it's the most satisfying.

SPEAKER_01 52:22

Oh, it's so satisfying. And most people right now, they're coming to like when they come to me, one of the top things they say they need is self-love. That is the number one thing they come to me. I would actually bet a lot of the people who you're helping in the e-commerce world, as they start to make money and they start to see they're missing something, they're gonna land eventually on this idea of love, self-love. I need to treat myself better. But the love that you give yourself, I have found, is directly proportional to the love you give other people. And the thing is, is we all have things if we're able to look at ourselves honestly, which is hard, by the way. Self-consciousness is one of the hardest things to do. To actually think about yourself in an unbiased manner, that is like an incredibly difficult thing for human beings to do. Put a mirror on people or a camera on people and watch how they act, they act differently. Not just because other people could see it, but because they're aware of themselves. It's hard. But it becomes easy when you accept everyone around you. Because when you accept everyone around you and you honor them wherever they're at, you really don't have judgments. You're not saying I'm the better person, you're saying I might not be the better person.

unknown 53:29

Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 53:30

That's where they're at. This is why I act the way I do now, but I would change it in a heartbeat if I learned something different. And so I don't know. You it's it's really having the courage to say, I don't know what it's what's necessary to be the best person, but I'm gonna keep working on what I think is the best, and I'm gonna honor everybody else. And then when you find out they're not even thinking about being a great person, that's what's really cool is you can actually stand there and say, Oh man, I have no judgment for you. I have no idea what you've been through, I have no idea what's going on, and I have no idea what your goals are. So I just don't know. I know for me, this is my goals. And you, everyone who's listening to this, you're this far into this podcast, remember this. We're about to do a team training today. And the number one thing that has to come across, if you want fulfillment in your life, you have to decide the person that you're becoming every day, and you have to be committed to that and moving towards that and feeling that. And you can tell everybody that, and you can even say, Oh, I have no judgment for anybody else. Right now, the most important thing in my life, truly, is that there are people in my life that if they don't change their behavior, they're gonna die. That's what I believe. And so for me, I'm trying to become a person who's so accepting, so loving that those people feel like they can be so safe around me that if they ever decide to make a change, they realize they don't have to do it alone, and I'm the first person they can come to. And I and I know that's true now because just this last week I had a two and a half hour conversation with my brother, who's been making great changes in his life, and we just had an honest conversation. And he felt like he could talk to me, and that I would never judge him. And I asked him directly, Do you feel like I have any judgment towards you? And he said, No. And I said, Do you feel like I have any judgment towards myself? And he said, You did for the entirety of your life, and I never knew how you held yourself to such painful standards and beat yourself up over it. But now you don't at all. And it opened the conversation. And so to to close that loop is just to say challenge yourself to truly accept to rid yourself of the judgment and seek not just curiosity, genuine understanding of them. Honor them. Honor the person in the room that nobody wants to talk to. Just like because they don't want to be associated with them. Honor them. And then when people ask you why, say, Well, here's the deal. I don't know them, and I'd like to see where they're at. I care about everybody, so I'm just gonna give them some presents, see where they're at, and that's all. And if you do that, you'll find that you when you look in the mirror, you'll be able to see yourself not just in a positive way, you'll be able to see yourself clearly, and you won't be afraid of anything you see, and then you can change anything you want, and that is the ultimate feeling because then you can chase your true destiny, you get to decide what it is and you go towards it. Hmm.

SPEAKER_00 56:11

So good. Can you bring us home, man? Number four. So we have intention, we have focus, we have acceptance. Man, this is my favorite one.

SPEAKER_01 56:20

I don't know if you know, we're talking about this, and it sounds so serious. Like, we're talking about deep moments, we're talking about tough conversations. This works in positive moments too. Add fuel to it. This is where you make an encouraging moment or a fun moment, a meaningful moment. Someone gets excited. Watch how I am with Bridget. She gets excited about petting the dog. I'm all of a sudden like, whoa, we're petting the dog. I'm fueling into it, but I'm actually intentional about how I'm bringing, I'm enhancing that experience with her. And this is my favorite step. It's the bonus step. You set the intention to their experience, more important than the plan. I love that. Person over the person over the plan. You're gonna get rid of the distraction so you're fully with them. You have suspended all judgment and you're getting better at it because the more you do that, the more your brain will stop let go of judgment. Judgment's an addiction. You can let go of that, you can release it. Then, as you've accepted them, you can go to wonder. And I call this the bonus step. You from within their world can get really curious. Not from your world, not like a why do you do that, but like a oh my gosh. So you're telling me that you you are just like die hard protecting your team. I wonder, have you ever had like team members who've done the same thing for you? Like team members going to bat for you? Owner of Sean over at Cell Street Grill. Whoa. Right? That's an interesting question. He probably hasn't considered or ever, he has probably never been asked that question. But you asked that question, and he was like, actually, yeah. He's like, There was a a time where something happened and the team reminded like they really went to bat for me and it touched me and changed my life. I have that. I have clients who have defended me. I didn't need defending, but they heard something, or you know, someone says every once in a while, someone says something bad. They say, like, I don't like Mark Matthews or whatever. And my clients are like, What? They're like, How can you not like Mark? What do you mean? And so they'll go wild to defend me. But you know how touching that is that they they care so much, and so in wonder, you just ask a question that maybe they've never been asked. But it's imagine you're in their head and you're kind of walking around and they're telling you about what's going on, and you finally got them open to this point where you you really know the story, and then you ask that question. I do this with you all the time. You're at home, you're with Kelsey, you tell me about maybe a beautiful conversation, and I'm like, Was it just you and Kelsey or was William in the room? William was there, and you know what's crazy? He was so peaceful during this moment. I didn't even think about it, I didn't even know really realize because he's just being peaceful, but he was there and he was peaceful. Those are the moments with my clients you find that they uh kind of get surprised and they see that there's more for them to see in their everyday life, everyday moments. And then I get to enjoy it. It's like I'm immersed in the movie of their life, and when I leave, that's what gives me the most energy. It's the wonder and then what we found in the story that they hadn't even seen. And I didn't impose any reframes, read anything there. Maybe we'll do that after if they'd like to do that, and I can transition them, but I just get to enjoy that wonder of their life, and it's very energizing.

SPEAKER_00 59:31

Hmm. So I don't that that enhances their experience. It's like you're expanding this experience that they had or they didn't that they didn't see within the experience that they were having. Or then their experience with you actually goes deeper and becomes better because you're actually genuinely curious about them. And that's real, it's I I I haven't fully cracked that. I think I think that's a little bit tougher of a skill to continue to hone in on. But I feel like the first three I've I've been working a lot on, and I think that the acceptance is the hardest and the suspension of judgment, but it's been transformative in how I approach everything, honestly. This morning it happened, supposed to do an early morning meeting with one of our business partners, and I said, Hey, I'll we were supposed to talk at 6:30 a.m. Anyway, I called him, he didn't pick up. So I shot him a text, and then I called him again 15 minutes later, and he didn't pick up, and I had a really tight window. And my my head goes to like, we literally planned on talking, right? And then I go to judge him, I'm like, what if his phone was just somewhere else? You know, what if I didn't judge like his motive of not doing whatever and he gets back, right? And he's like, dude, I had my phone here, and it's on do not disturb until 7 a.m. because that's how I run my life and all of this and whatever. I'm like, that makes so much sense. I could have judged him and had this thought about it, but I was like, I need to suspend any judgment of even like the motive of somebody within that moment. And even this morning, I'm like trying to, I'm practicing this as I'm going and at the gym and things like that. And yeah, so I mean, this has been really transformative uh for me. And so I hope everybody here got something from it. Take this, apply this to some aspect uh of your life with your particularly team, your customers, and your family. Those are the three places I apply this. Now, obviously, I do this everywhere that I go now, but those are the three home-based places that you do this, it will make them feel like you actually care and it'll it'll it'll make you feel energized and alive. But Mark, thank you for being on with us. Where is the best place that people can connect with you?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:36

Immediately come find me on Instagram at face my fear. I will encourage you to face your fear if you'd like. That's my motto. And so at face my fear, you'll find me. It's Dr. Mark Matthews. I'm posting content consistently, but come follow me and be part of it. Like the number one way to become non-judgmental is to surround yourself with people who are non-judgmental. That really is the key. In my circle, nobody is judgmental around me without like my core circle. They we've already decided the vision. And so come be a part of that. If you need influence on that, it's really helpful. And then if you don't have Instagram for whatever reason, you're very professional and you like to keep it that way. Just come find me on LinkedIn, Dr. Mark Matthews. You'll see me. That's pretty easy.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:23

Thanks for joining me, Mark. I appreciate you. And we'll see all of you guys in the next episode. Bye.